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August 11/00:
I decided to start writing down everything that I am feeling, thinking or wondering, as a keepsake and reminder for the
future. Well now to start.
Allan and I had decided to start trying again right after the miscarriage. It was devestating, but moving on and trying
again was an important step in our healing process.
So there I was, jumped right into learning all I could about actually TRYING to conceive.
My first cycle after the miscarriage was a confusing one. My body was still confused a bit why I wasn't pregnant anymore,
and kept trying to make me think I was. But then good ole Aunt Flo showed up, and I knew I was not. I had a dream that night
that I was holding a baby. The next morning I woke up and knew this was going to be the month. Well needless to say, we tried
LOTS that month, and at 10 days past ovulation, I knew something was up. Heartburn had invaded my much enjoyed favorite foods.
I was so
tired, my breasts hurt. I just knew it was because I was pregnant! I said to Allan that night, that I thought we should
stop by the pharmacy on our way home to pick up a
test...just to see. He said nope, that we were gonna wait a few more days, so that we didn't get a false negative. He
was probably right, it was probably too early to test. Well
let me tell you how hard it was for me the next day! I just knew it! I was nauseous, my heartburn was worse and all my
symptoms seemed to be so much stronger. I drove past
Medi-Plus three times in two hours before I actually decided to go in. I quickly drove home, ran into the house, into
the bathroom and peed on a stick! Then I closed the
bathroom door and watched the clock to see two very LONG minutes pass. My heart was thumping. I did not want to be disappointed,
but I was sure it was gonna show two lines. I
opened the door, and WOW! two dark lines. There was no doubt! To test so early and get such a strong positive, it was
a forsure!! Mom phoned almost three minutes after I saw
the positive result. I had to stop myself crying, I was so happy, just to answer the phone. She had been having a bad
night and needed to be cheered up, so I dropped the baby
bomb. She was so happy she cried. I think a combination of finally being the first to hear about her grandchild, and being
so happy for me, she was almost as much a basket of emotions that I was! Then came time to tell Allan! I knew he wouldn't
mind that I had told mom first. He pretty much knew anyways. So I called him at work and asked when
he was coming home. He said he would call me when he was almost home. So, plan in mind I ran upstairs to the computer.
I typed out a note in fancy writing ->> Mommy is having a baby.... and so are you!!! <<-. I rolled it in a scroll
and tied a curled ribbon around it. Then I sat and waited for him to call. I was so excited, waiting was the hardest! Finally
the phone rang and he was almost in Taber. So I took the scroll and tied the ribbon to Bonita?ollar and waited for him to
open the door. Allan came in the door, and once he got Bonita calmed down enough to grab the paper (she was extra excited
today ) he read it. Smiles and hugs were all that he needed to say. He also said he knew that. Well what a fart, he knew it
but wouldn't let me test the day before. Well I was just elated! We sat and smiled for about an hour. Then I called my Mom
and Dad. I asked them what they were doing On April 9th. They said why? So I
said well I think you should come out here to meet your grandchild then. Dad was quietly stunned as usual :) and mom continued
her bundle of questions that she had
started that afternoon. We then had to get ready to go over to Jen and Dylans house for Sharons birthday. We
decided to stop at Candys work to tell her the news. I was a bit nervous telling her. She and Adam have been trying for
so long, with out much luck, I just did not want to break her strength if I was pregnant and she was not. She still did not
know if she was or not at that point. I was happy to see that she was genuinely happy for us.
So off to Jen and Dylans we went and broke the news to the rest of the gang. The next day we told Allans parents.
So now that that is all caught up.
Today: WHOA morning sickness!! OR all day sickness rather! I haven?een with my head in the toilet so much in my life!
The only things that keep me going thru the day is
soda crackers and sprite. When I feel queasy, I munch on crackers. Even still sometimes they don't help! I think it is
time for a new bra size! My most comfortable bra is feeling a bit small in the cup. I am pretty tired most of the day. But
if I keep active its not so bad. And a nap mid day helps too. Allan has been so good to me. He knows how tired I am right
now, so the fact that our house is far from clean right now, isn't bothering him. I
love how he rubs my tummy too. He is so happy! I am so happy to be able to give this to him! I just know everything with
this pregnancy will be just fine! I know it! Everything feels different. Both mentally and physically. I have no worries.
Sometimes I think about
the fact that I am getting close to when I miscarried last time. But I am going to stand strong! This baby I get to keep!
Jen took me shopping last week. I picked up seven little baby sleepers for about 13 bucks
at a second hand store! My new favorite place to shop! I think I will hold out for a while to buy more though. I dont
want to fill a closet too fast :) Well aside from the major morning sickness, and fatigue, I feel wonderful! I can't wait
to see how this all progresses!
August 20/00
Today I feel like celebrating! I made it! I hit my marker of making it past when my baby's heart stopped beating - I feel
relieved! I also feel very pregnant! :) Morning sickness has become all day everyday. Its worse when my meal times are screwed
up. Late dinners do not go over well! My bra size definately needs to change! Holy hello C cup. The only thing that concerns
me right now, is weight gain. I have
always easily gained weight, so I don't want it to get out of hand. I'm trying to follow the Best Odds Diet, in what to
expect when you're expecting, but when not much is staying
down, its hard! I am gonna start swimming laps again. Its not strenuous, but good exercise to keep the unnecessary pounds
off. Aside from being tired and over run with morning sickness, I feel very healthy. I am getting excited! Ten more days
until my first prenatal appointment. I am hoping we get to see the heartbeat! Anyways thats all I have to say right now.
Sept 7/00
Wow I meant to keep up with this much better than I have been. I ve been so busy lately that I have hardly anytime to
think! The wedding is fast approaching! Allan
turned 25!!! I went for my final dress fitting....they are letting it out :( OH well At least I'm gaining for
a good reason right??
I had my first doctor's appointment on the 30th of August. I really like Dr, Gibb so far. He is very at ease and listens
to all my questions. He even tried to find the heart beat. He had it for a split second and then couldn't get it again. Next
time for sure!!! Allan came to the appointment with me, it was a very long wait for him. I had blood work done too which took
up alot of time. I guess the first appointment is alot longer than the rest. Next appointment is September 26th. Seems like
a long way away but time will fly! I think I'm noticing some changes in my tummy. Every once in a while I get this little
flutter just below my belly button. If I didn't know better I'd say the baby was moving already. Stranger things have happened.
Also I ve noticed this little hard bump just below my belly button. I'm wondering if it is the beginning of a pooch.
Morning sickness is getting easier to handle. I am not sick ALL day now. Just first thing in the morning, sometimes til
noon or so. I still get very nauseous all the time, but at least I am keeping food down now. I must invest in some really
good maternity bras . I am getting series of sore boobs which go away only to be replaced my burning nipples, only to be replaced
by sore boobs. Its a vicious cycle!! I think I would rather just have sore boobs tho! Well I think I am doing well! I ve gained
back 4 pounds. And I am starting to feel more energy. Not to mention the increased sex drive (WHATS WITH THAT????!!!???).
But I really am feeling better. Which makes it soooo much easier to enjoy this pregnancy! I'm over nine weeks now (ten weeks
on Sept 11) and 90% of my fears are gone! I just can't wait to see the ultrasound tho! Til next time :)
Sept 16/00
Our wedding day! Taking five minutes to breathe :) I just hope I don't have morning sickness in my dress!
October 1/00
Oh my goodness its just too busy lately!! I am feeling really good! My morning sickness is going away. Sept 26 I had my
2nd OB appointment. Got to hear the heartbeat. What an amazing feeling. I love that sound. So far no more weight gain! I think
I feel baby moving now. Next OB appointment is October 24th.
October 24th
I cannot believe it! Allan got to hear the heart beat today. He was grinning ear to ear. He is so proud. I love it. Our
first Ultrasound appointment is scheduled. I cant wait! Seeing this little bug is going to be such a relief! I can't wait
to see how busy it is.
And if it is a boy or girl! Everyone (but me) thinks boy...but we shall see!!
October 28/00
Time is flying! My first ultrasound is Nov 7th. I cant wait! My tummy is definately growing! I have a definate pooch.
And I can feel baby move. Its definate flutters, all over the place! Packed up my regular clothes. Won't need those for a
while :) Maternity wear here I come!
Nov 7/00
We had our ultrasound today!! Baby is BEAUTIFUL! We have three polaroid type pictures. I cant stop staring at them. You
know seeing the baby is making this REAL!
We couldn't find out the sex of the baby. The doctor would not wager a guess. Apparently they wont tell you unless they
are more than 70% sure. But anyways, we counted toes
today :) And watched baby kick and move and try to suck its thumb! Baby measures ahead. So according to ultrasound my
due date is April 3/00.
Nov 21/00
WOW OVER half done! What an amazing feeling. Doctor appointment today went well. Although scared the daylights out of
me when it took longer than I thought it should to hear the heart beat. But we got it. It was faster that ever today. 150
bpm. Wonder if it is a girl??? All is well in baby land. I've gained 11 pounds
from pre-pregnancy weight. Not bad apparently. Baby is moving so much more now. Actual kicks now...on my BLADDER! Ultrasound
says baby is breech right now. So we
may get another if doctor cant feel that baby has turned. I am definately hoping it does!!
December 10/00
I can not believe how fast this is going! One more week until my next OB appointment. I cant wait! I am definately looking
pregnant. It is so obvious
to everyone now. I feel like I stick out a mile in front. And I know I am only gonna get bigger :) Love maternity clothes!
SOOOOOO comfy! Baby is SO busy lately. I think it
takes on Allans personality. Can not sit still! Either that or I am growing a football player :) Food is calling me at
all hours now. If I get up to pee, I am hungry too!! And
EVERYTHING looks good! I am getting alot more heartburn lately tho. I fill up very
quickly lately too. I am sure its because baby is so much higher now.
I love being pregnant!!!
Dec 17/00 I'm feeling great!! I had a good doctors appointment and baby is doing really well. I have one 4 week appointment
left and then I start going every 2 weeks. I can't believe that!! Its going so fast! Christmas is around the corner and after
that time is going to fly!
Dec 23/00 BAD nite last nite! Allan took me to ER for severe stomach pain. I was throwing up and had alot of pain across
my upper abdomen. It scared me enough to agree to go. I hate being sick! After a bit of an exam the doctor on call scheduled
me for an ultrasound to make sure there is no gall stones in my gall bladder. If there is I have to remain on a VERY strict
diet! Not easy when you have tons of cravings!
Jan 3/01 Had my ultrasound today. The tech didn't seem to tell me a whole lot, but told me not to worry. it wasn't as
much fun as my ultrasound for the baby. Alot of deep breaths that I had to hold. And she was pretty brutal with the probe!
I'm still sore. She did a 5 second peek at baby. The only thing I got out of it is that it's still breech! It has time to
turn but I'm a little concerned! Hope it turns! She wouldn't tell us the sex either...because of positioning. So we are going
to be surprised on baby's birthday :)
Jan 18/01 Had a good doctor's appointment today. I'm 29 weeks now. We talked about baby still being breech. He's not completely
sure it will. Because of its size (its rather big now!) and position. He's hopeful tho. If it doesn't I have an ultrasound
at 36-37 weeks, if its breech then, they will try to turn it. If it does they will induce me within a week or so. If it doesn't
they will schedule a c-section. Apparently turning the baby doesn't work very often and isn't too much fun! I start appointments
every 2 weeks now. Boy is time flying!!
As for baby's size...Dr. Gibb had to measure my fundal height three times he couldn't believe it! I went from 28 cm last
appointment to 34+ this appointment. That's nearly 3 inches! WOW!
Jan 31/01 We had our 2nd prenatal class tonite. Boy was that interesting :) Allan is a bit more than squeemish. The videos
were rather up close and personal in the graphic sense! He definately wants a chair so he doesn't pass out!!
Feb 2/01 Baby turned yesterday!! I was in the shower and my belly did a wave. It widened for about 3 seconds and then
went normal again. I started feeling kicks high a few hours later. And felt hiccups LOW! So I asked Dr. Gibb to check and
see if it turned. He is 95% sure it did. After feeling he is pretty sure the bum was up. And he found the heartbeat with the
doppler really LOW which is different from any other time. So looks like this little bug FINALLY listened to me! I will still
likely have another ultrasound at 37 weeks just to make sure baby stays put! The only bad thing about my appointment is my
BP is a bit high. So I have to go in every week for a bit starting next wednesday to make sure it doesn't get higher.
All in all...a great day :)
Feb 9/01
32 week appointment today. Everything is WONDERFUL! Baby's heart is strong. My bp has lowered enough that my doctor isn't
concerned with it. I'm measuring ahead for fundal height. So far doctor isn't saying much about it. Back in to doctor in two
weeks!
Feb 23/01
34 week appointment today. Baby might have turned again. OH NO! We discussed the prelabor/false labor I've been having.
Doctor isn't concerned as long as the contractions don't get closer together or stronger. Or last more than an hour or so.
Guess I'm taking after my mom who had false labor with all of us.
Baby and I are both doing very well!
March 9/01
36+ week appointment today. I go every week from now on. I guess things are getting closer!! I'm getting tired of all
the prelabor I've been having. But it will help me out in the end! I hope :D Doctor thinks baby has dropped. YAY! I have an
ultrasound in about a week or so. I've been measuring ahead by 4 weeks when he takes my fundal height measurement. He wants
to check my dates and see if baby is breech or head down. If it's breech, he's scheduling a version! So after next weeks appointment,
he'll book an ultrasound. Exciting!
March 16/01
37+ week appointment today. We have an ultrasound NEXT Tuesday! YAY! I think baby flipped again. I'm positive of it! I
just know it's head down. I can't wait to see this little bug again! Both me and baby are doing well! I lost a 1/2 pound...for
a total of 23.5 lbs weight gain so far. I got my antepartum records, which I have to carry around with me from now til I deliver.
We pre-register at the hospital next Friday, and then off to the doctor's again. I'm still measuring ahead (41 cm's this week).
We'll see what the ultrasound says. Still having lots of BH contractions, painful and other wise. I hope this baby comes soon!!
March 20/01
Exciting nite last nite! Thought we were gonna have a baby! My contractions started at about 4pm, about 10 mins apart.
By 6pm they were 3-4 mins apart and REALLY strong. By 9:30pm we decided we'd better head it into the hospital! They hooked
me up to a fetal monitor and one for my contractions (non stress test). Yep...4 mins apart, and baby was doing great! When
they checked my cervix, I was only dilated 1cm. An hour or so later, still no change. So they sent me home. That was a LONG
nite! I had contractions ALL nite, 4 mins apart! Finally at about 5 am I fell asleep. When I woke at 6:30 they started getting
father apart. I slept about an hour more but that's about all the sleep I got. Bonus from last nite? I don't have to pre-register
at the hospital Friday. Its all done :)
TODAY! We had our ultrasound! It was SO neat! I love seeing this little bug! It has the CUTEST little cheeks and chubby
legs and arms. It put on quite a show for us. The pictures we got don't do it justice! I can't wait to have this baby!! Best
news of all - it's HEAD DOWN!!!!
March 23/01
Everything from the ultrasound looks perfect! Weight guestimate is 7lbs 3oz. Not too big that we'd need to be concerned
at this point. And everything else is perfect! Baby and I are doing well! I lost 3 lbs! Total weight gain is now 20.5 lbs.
Apparently a sign that labor isn't far off! Well we'll see! Fundal height measurement was 41cm still. Baby's heart rate was
140 bpm. Pretty much what its been all along. My blood pressure is PERFECT!! 120/74! YAY! It hasn't been that good in over
a month! I gave Dr. Gibb my birth plan. He signed it and kept his copy. We talked about what plans to make in the next few
weeks. He won't induce me until I'm at least 10 days late. Which is ok with me I guess. He doesn't figure I'll be that late
anyways!
Back again next week!
March 30/01 39+ week doctor's visit. Tanya (my sil) came with us today. It's her birthday. She couldn't stop gushing about
hearing the baby's heart beat.
I'm pretty darn sore!!! My pelvis and pubic bone are aching so much I want to cry! This baby thinks lying on its side
is comfy...but not for me! Its at -1 station, not dilated but maybe 20-30% effaced. I guess we've got a while. Back to doctor's
next week again.
We went bowling tonite and I had hot wings too. Maybe all this will help?? :)
April 6/01 40+ week doctor's visit today. I'm so relieved!! Being overdue is NOT FUN! And having all this prelabor is
driving me mad! But Doctor Gibb made my day a bit better! I have to see him again on Tuesday (the 10th) and he's scheduling
an induction. He said he'd try for the 12th but its not likely. SO after easter it will be! Probably the 16th or 17th. YAY!!!
That is if I make it that long :) There's a full moon tomorrow nite! I hope it has SOME effect :) More news Tuesday!
April 19, 2001 - Baby Boy - Gregory Ross Kosowan, arrived via emergency c/s. Weighing 7lbs 10 oz, 20 1/2 inches long.
He's beautiful, I'm so in love.
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